Thursday, November 1, 2018

Published 11:41 AM by Anonymous with 0 comment

Bridge Report

For years, people have questioned whether an article solely about bridges would make for good content in a school newspaper. The answer is, no, but we’re doing it anyway. This marks the first and possibly last Bridge Report, where once a month we’re going to talk a whole lot about bridges and pollute Ridge Report with our presence.


We’ll start our first article with some frequently asked questions.

What are bridges?
Good question bud, keep it up.
Bridges are structures carrying roads, paths, railroads, or canals across rivers, ravines, or some other obstacle. Most importantly, however, bridges are a lifestyle. Nobody wakes up in the morning as a bridge. They have to work to become a bridge. It takes months, even years, to build yourself into a bridge, and, more often than not, people collapse under the weight they have to carry when becoming a bridge.

Where are bridges?
Don’t feel bad if you can’t find any bridges. They’re often indistinguishable from roads and need to be inspected very carefully. A good way to tell whether you are on a bridge or not is by driving around and staring directly at the road below you, without looking away for even a moment, just to be sure you don’t miss any indication that it is indeed a bridge you’re on. Note that this does not count as distracted driving because your eyes are still technically on the road.

Can I be a bridge?
Nah man, market is oversaturated.

Who are bridges?
That’s a good question. We decided to take a trip to the Iroquois Bridge Community Center to interview a bridge ourselves.

This beauty's name is Bridgeothy and he can be found at : 43.487146, -79.706716

Life has been great for Bridgeothy He’s been living a quiet but full lifestyle for a few years now, and despite what his parents think about his career, he couldn’t be happier.

“It wasn’t really a matter of if I was going to be a bridge, it was more a matter of when.” He states. “Even as a kid I knew this was what I wanted. My friends all wanted to be regular roads and sidewalks, but I was going to be a bridge. My parents couldn’t have been more opposed to the idea.”

Bridgeothy’s relationship with his parents has been a rocky one to say the least, but they’ve learned to accept his identity. At this point, it’s mostly water under the bridge.

“I was tired of people walking all over me. As a bridge, I can finally take a stand and show the world what I am really made of. Which is a whole lot of wood and steel, and spirit.” Coined by his parents, Bridgeothy’s childhood nickname was doormat, since according to them he was too weak to stand up for himself.

“I used to collapse emotionally when someone called me doormat” he laughs. “Now I just collapse normally.”

When asked about his advice to aspiring bridges, Bridgeothy had this to say: “I’m not going to sugarcoat this It won’t be easy being a real bridge. I’ve heard bridges say that the experience is an amalgamation of ups and downs, but, in my experience, it’s mostly down. You’re gonna have to support yourself. A bridge who relies on others for support isn’t a bridge at all. That being said, if I can do it, I’m sure literally anyone can. So go for it.”

xoxoxo <3 <3 Michael & Jason

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